That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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