Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
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at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
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So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
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