So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Randomize