life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
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Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
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If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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