omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
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I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
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Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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