i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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