Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize