I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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