"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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