That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
only you would photoshop your dick
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he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
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She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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