So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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