I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than pants.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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