Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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