My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
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I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
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and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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