it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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