It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
It was confusing and full of hummus
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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