I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize