I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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