we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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