Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
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