Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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