If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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