I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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