I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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