Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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