well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize