Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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