have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
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Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
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All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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