I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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