my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
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Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
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