As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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