I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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