party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Your cock deserves a montage
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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