I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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