No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
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I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
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I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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