I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize