my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize