I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Can't talk, ducks in the car
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize