I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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