She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize