So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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