I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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