on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
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