She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
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Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
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While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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