her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
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he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
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I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize