You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize