Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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