Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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