ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize