So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize